The mini starts off with Jay Hogart sitting in a dark room, talking to the camera about himself; certain phrases that he speaks appear on the screen in white text. Jay introduces the mini as the diary of his life. With himself narrating, Jay tells the audience that his life is crazier than we can imagine. The camera cuts to Jay, in full color, walking down an ally, where he meets Sean Cameron, to get ready for his "job". He picks up a box full of clothing from Sean, who tells him that he can't keep covering for him. Jay comments in the dark room that it's sometimes hard to know who you can trust, but him and Sean have been through a lot. Re-emerging in completely different clothing, Jay, in a British accent, talks to Sean, and then heads to his work. As Jay walks away, Sean tells him he's going to get caught. Off-screen, Jay admits he is fine with people not knowing much about him.
Jay gets a call on his cell phone from Mrs. Stevens and makes an appointment to baby sit. He heads over to a house and walks in to greet three small children, calling them his little "cherubs." Jay, as their babysitter, proceeds to do multiple activities with the children, such as playing Ring Around the Rosie, giving them piggy back rides, having a screaming contest, reading them a children's story, playing hide and seek, and jumping on their couch. The scene then cuts back to the dark room where he sits, looking ashamed. He says, "You think you know..you have no idea", and begins to cry into his hands.
- Jay: "I'll be there in two shakes of a lamb's tail."
- The opening sequence is a parody of the MTV series Diary, which followed celebrities throughout their daily lives.