The torrid love affair between Eli Goldsworthy and his pimp cane Mortissa began at The Grassi sometime before the events of LoveGame. They are also known as Ecane (Eli/Cane) or Mortisseli (Mortissa/Eli).
Relationship Overview[]
Eli met Mortissa Thee Pimp Cane after he went through physical therapy because he deliberately crashed Morty (R.I.P). He named her Mortissa after his second fallen lover and they soon began an intense sexual relationship. Mortissa was by his side every day at school and would peg him every night after he came home from school. She was in frequent conflict with other bitches at Degrassi that would dare try to steal her man (looking at you Jenna and Marisol), and would wack the shit out of them. They broke up sometime before U Don't Know as Eli finally started walking again. Mortissa would then stalk Eli in the shadows, waiting to take back her lover until Clurr Edwards accidentally ran her over in Tonight, Tonight (R.I.P). Eli never forgot his third fallen lover and has a picture of her hanging up in his dorm at NYU.
Trivia[]
- They are the second couple to develop feelings for each other in physical therapy after Jimmy and Trina.
- Mortissa was the dominant partner in this relationship.
- Mortissa had a conflict with Eli's ex-girlfriend and best friend Imogen Moreno as she considered Imogen to be a crazy bitch. They fought several times and Mortissa won each fight.
- They went on double dates with Jake and his weed, Jake and his chicken, Jenna and her chicken, and Alli and her heels.
- Mortissa encouraged Eli to wear that ugly ass Lord Farquaad haircut in the first half of season eleven.
- They were in conflict with another couple, Becky Baker and her bible.
- Eli was an atheist while Mortissa was a scientologist.
- They still lasted longer than Imogeli.
- Mortissa was once involved in a hit-and-run while taking Morty out for a joyride which claimed the life of missing Degrassi student Kendra Mason. Mortissa immediately took Morty to be fixed at Jay Hogart's auto shop so Eli would never find out. Jay fixed Morty in exchange for sexual favors.
- On another one of Mortissa's joyrides she found J.T. Yorke's penis pump under a dumpster in an alleyway. She cleaned it with running water and gifted it to Eli for Valentine's Day. He tested positive for gonorrhea a week later but it was probably unrelated.
- Mortissa had a severe dislike for Eli's classmate Marisol Lewis but who didn't during season eleven?
- Mortissa had an intense hatred for Eli's current girlfriend, Clurr.
- They liked to act out scenes from Fifty Shades of Grey and Showgirls.
- Mortissa's pet name for Eli was "Big Daddy" while he called her "Little Mama."
- Eli wrote 69 poems in her honor.
- Mortissa lost her virginity to Eli in Dirt Off Your Shoulder (2).
- They were part of a love triangle with Clurr, which is like love triangle number #5848448 for that bitch.
- Mortissa showed Eli where the clit is located.
- Mortissa's favorite dine-in restaurant is Arby's. She likes the meat...
- Mortissa was best friends with Eli's best friend Adam Torres and made a regular appearance on his talk show with Dave.
- They still had more chemistry than Cake, Clew, and Drecky.
- Mortissa told Eli he has pretty eyes.
- Mortissa liked to throw that ass back on Eli.
- When they broke up, Mortissa spread a rumor around the school that Eli had a tiny dick and made a Facerange group called "I Hate Eli." 600 students were involved in the group and chanted "I hate Eli!" during Eli's lunch period. He ran out the cafeteria crying.
- They were somehow less toxic than Zaya.
- One of the few pieces of metal Mortissa has on her design was a part of the arrow that struck and killed King Richard I of England.
- Their songs:
- The Lady of My Life- Michael Jackson
- My Cherie Amour- Stevie Wonder
- Bonita Applebum and Electric Relaxation- A Tribe Called Quest
- Dance For You- Beyonce
- Body Party-Ciara
- Bad Intentions- Niykee Heaton
- More Than A Woman- Aaliyah
- Don't Be Afraid- Aaron Hall
- Some Cut (feat. Cutty)- Trillville, Cutty
- Knocking ‘Da Boots- H-Town
- Red Light Special- TLC
- Temptations and How Do You Want It?- 2Pac
- Ice Cream- Raekwon Ft. Ghostface Killa and Cappadonna
- On The Run- Jay-Z ft. Beyonce
- Clout- Offset Ft. Cardi B
- Motivation- Kelly Rowland ft. Lil Wayne
- Happy- Ashanti
- Cash Shit- Megan Thee Stallion Ft. Dababy
- When We- Tank
- Get You- Daniel Caesar Ft. Kali Uchis
- Sex Talk- Megan Thee Stallion
- Video Phone- Beyoncé ft. Lady Gaga
- Pussy is God- King Princess
- Partition- Beyoncé
- My Type- Saweetie
- Vision of Love- Mariah Carey
- Luxurious- Gwen Stefani
- Big Momma Thang- Lil Kim
- Ruffneck- MC Lyte
- What You Won’t Do For Love- Bobby Caldwell
- Deepthroat- Cupcakke
- Pony- Ginuwine
- Stuck On You - Giveon
- Don’t Be Afraid- Aaron Hall